Baby A, my Sofi, had her first doctor's appointment today in utero.
I couldn't help, but get feelings of dread and while parking at the children's hospital. "So, this is where we will spend the next few months," I said to myself. This appointment was scheduled months ago, and I can't figure out why reality decided to smack me in the face today. I held in the tears, and went straight in to be registered by some lady who couldn't care less about my Sofi. Then, they shuffled me upstairs to wait in yet another waiting room. I found a quiet spot in this new room... a place I need to get used to. Forty-five minutes later, the doctor came to talk to me about Sofi's kidneys. I learned that: 1) Sofi will need to be on her medication immediately after birth 2) Her first months will be nothing but scans, tests, and appointments 3) I'm allowed no recovery time after birth. 4) She will have only one kidney
This sucks, but I have to stay strong for my babies AND show my 4 year old that mommy is here for her, too.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Today- A sick story
I was up late last night watching a movie and trying to distract myself from all the excessive thinking I've been doing lately. I heard a sniffle and the pitter patter of little feet coming down the stairs, and knew something was up. Ana appeared all wrapped up in her blankey, and told me her tummy hurt. We headed upstairs and about that time she tore into the bathroom to throw up. I got her a little bucket, a cool washcloth for her head, and tucked her into my bed hoping she would feel better. We both drifted off to sleep. About an hour later the sniffling started up again and I woke up just in time to see her slide out of the bed next to her bucket. I felt so bad for her, and lugged my enormous belly over and sat next to her on the floor. She climbed back up into bed and fell asleep again...
This morning wasn't much better. She didn't want to eat a thing, so I got her some Sprite and Saltines to no avail. She spent the morning on the couch watching cartoons while I rubbed her little feet. Around noon, she wanted a nap, and we passed out until 5:30! I woke up first and took off for the bathroom for one of my epic pregnant pee trips, and when I came back to my room, the TV was on Spongebob. Eyes were peeking at me from underneath the blanket.
Finally, she feels better!
This morning wasn't much better. She didn't want to eat a thing, so I got her some Sprite and Saltines to no avail. She spent the morning on the couch watching cartoons while I rubbed her little feet. Around noon, she wanted a nap, and we passed out until 5:30! I woke up first and took off for the bathroom for one of my epic pregnant pee trips, and when I came back to my room, the TV was on Spongebob. Eyes were peeking at me from underneath the blanket.
Finally, she feels better!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Palomitas
I have decided to start this blog for a number of reasons. Number one being my sanity.
I have a ton of things on my plate right now:
A twin birth looming within the next few weeks: The outcome for one of the babies, Sofi (Baby A), is unknown at this point. I was told at 10 weeks gestation that she would be a fetal demise. Demise is such a cold word. I was told that "nature would take it's course" within the weeks after. Here I am, 7 ultrasounds and 24 weeks later, and my baby Sofi looks okay. She has been diagnosed with first hydrops fetalis (at 10 weeks-which is now considered by my other doctors a misdiagnosis), had a possible VSD, and a multicystic right kidney. She has been a fighter through all of this and has passed her brother as far as growth! I feel like judgement day is coming, because there is no way to tell exactly what the extent of her kidney issues are until she is born. So far, doctors have said she will make it as long as her left kidney continues to function. I can't help, but worry.
A fiance in another country: I have spent the past 2 years of my life living and working in Mexico with my four year old daughter, Ana, and my fiance, Miguel. We were so happy to be together, and my family came to visit frequently. In June, during one of their vacations/visits, I found out I was pregnant! I stuck it out for the next month and a half, but was progressively getting sicker and sicker. I decided to come home, and bring the love of my life with me. This has been an incredible sacrifice for me that I didn't even believe I was capable of enduring. We've been apart for 6 months and for most of the twin pregnancy. It is unknown as to whether Miguel will make it in time to meet the babies when they are born, and with the complications, I worry that he will not be able to meet his daughter if something happens to her.
Issues with family: I have just recently cut off a few members of my family. It is something I should have done a long time ago, but never had the spine to do it. I've been a much better person, but sometimes I need the strength to continue after all of the guilt and blame that has been placed on me. I can't even touch on the issue without telling you my entire life story. I'll just write about this one as it comes.
I have a ton of things on my plate right now:
A twin birth looming within the next few weeks: The outcome for one of the babies, Sofi (Baby A), is unknown at this point. I was told at 10 weeks gestation that she would be a fetal demise. Demise is such a cold word. I was told that "nature would take it's course" within the weeks after. Here I am, 7 ultrasounds and 24 weeks later, and my baby Sofi looks okay. She has been diagnosed with first hydrops fetalis (at 10 weeks-which is now considered by my other doctors a misdiagnosis), had a possible VSD, and a multicystic right kidney. She has been a fighter through all of this and has passed her brother as far as growth! I feel like judgement day is coming, because there is no way to tell exactly what the extent of her kidney issues are until she is born. So far, doctors have said she will make it as long as her left kidney continues to function. I can't help, but worry.
A fiance in another country: I have spent the past 2 years of my life living and working in Mexico with my four year old daughter, Ana, and my fiance, Miguel. We were so happy to be together, and my family came to visit frequently. In June, during one of their vacations/visits, I found out I was pregnant! I stuck it out for the next month and a half, but was progressively getting sicker and sicker. I decided to come home, and bring the love of my life with me. This has been an incredible sacrifice for me that I didn't even believe I was capable of enduring. We've been apart for 6 months and for most of the twin pregnancy. It is unknown as to whether Miguel will make it in time to meet the babies when they are born, and with the complications, I worry that he will not be able to meet his daughter if something happens to her.
Issues with family: I have just recently cut off a few members of my family. It is something I should have done a long time ago, but never had the spine to do it. I've been a much better person, but sometimes I need the strength to continue after all of the guilt and blame that has been placed on me. I can't even touch on the issue without telling you my entire life story. I'll just write about this one as it comes.
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