Palomitas

I have decided to start this blog for a number of reasons. Number one being my sanity.

I have a ton of things on my plate right now:

A twin birth looming within the next few weeks: The outcome for one of the babies, Sofi (Baby A), is unknown at this point. I was told at 10 weeks gestation that she would be a fetal demise. Demise is such a cold word. I was told that "nature would take it's course" within the weeks after. Here I am, 7 ultrasounds and 24 weeks later, and my baby Sofi looks okay. She has been diagnosed with first hydrops fetalis (at 10 weeks-which is now considered by my other doctors a misdiagnosis), had a possible VSD, and a multicystic right kidney. She has been a fighter through all of this and has passed her brother as far as growth! I feel like judgement day is coming, because there is no way to tell exactly what the extent of her kidney issues are until she is born. So far, doctors have said she will make it as long as her left kidney continues to function. I can't help, but worry.

A fiance in another country: I have spent the past 2 years of my life living and working in Mexico with my four year old daughter, Ana, and my fiance, Miguel. We were so happy to be together, and my family came to visit frequently. In June, during one of their vacations/visits, I found out I was pregnant! I stuck it out for the next month and a half, but was progressively getting sicker and sicker. I decided to come home, and bring the love of my life with me. This has been an incredible sacrifice for me that I didn't even believe I was capable of enduring. We've been apart for 6 months and for most of the twin pregnancy. It is unknown as to whether Miguel will make it in time to meet the babies when they are born, and with the complications, I worry that he will not be able to meet his daughter if something happens to her.

Issues with family: I have just recently cut off a few members of my family. It is something I should have done a long time ago, but never had the spine to do it. I've been a much better person, but sometimes I need the strength to continue after all of the guilt and blame that has been placed on me. I can't even touch on the issue without telling you my entire life story. I'll just write about this one as it comes.